Attempts

these are my thoughts abd i am sensetive so if you are super sensetive then i dont want you to get upset.
i dotn like the way i sound there but im not going to try
but i wont way anything particuarly bad i think through my self critisising if there is any, but im thinking, i dont know. so i cant say if it will confuse or upset
but nothing bad outright.

I thought my inner monologue with little editing could be the thing im able to be least protective over, i dont think it will make much sense, or be entertaining, but i think it might help me, also if i pretend i have an audience that might help for some reason who knows.

suddenly i have nothing interesting. but that doesnt really matter, see how its not even a sense, because i.
Words are difficult, i dont work in words.
we? dontt

but anyway the translate is tricky and so im not going to try hard, supposedly ive had time to get used to these, maybe this language isnt for me maybe theres a better one that suits me better,

ive gained courage recently

im proud of myself

ive thought about doing this for a while but its never the right time, im greatful

going back i wantedd to finish my previous thought. ive had time to work with words, and i still try so mych, im scared of not trying,
i hoope this is a safe place to not try so hard,

do we all struggle like i do, question mark! he he

words are awfully helpful, but cause me a great deal of stress, do others as well i dont

no body will answer my questions
i gueesss it would juest leave me with more anyway
that seems to be a reccurring theme, the more solved the more to solve, but it feels good to do something doesnt it?
not always
thats it
maybe if i do hyper worried writigna nd no worry writing ill find a balanae and offend and upset both myseldf and others less, also this is intersting#
i still cant touch type fast enough for my thoughts
which is frustrating,
but anyway thoghts whould just speed up anyway
am i origunal?
fuck spelling
im scared of saying that
thats scary
relally
im getting scared now oops.

so maybe thats time to stop, i didnt get scared at the start which i thought i would when i was thinking at night to write my monolouge
i think its nice when words have similar sounds next to eachother.

the most boring words are when they dont, like inforamtion wiht no artistic liscence, i cant do that, make a fart joke please in the instructions..

dot dot doe
#yipee.
i want to talk to people so why do i choose the place where its most difficult, i struggle with this stuff, i get very nervous,, does anybody else?
makes me feel very alone,
oops this is gettings a bit personal now ah
i wnat to be funny
the way things work doesnt work for me
do other peoplet think like this, perhaps to a lesser extend but still there? i dont see anyone edlse doing this but maybe im not looking hard enough because i think i dont have the enerfgy or im too lazy or soomething inbetween
not extreme enough
the onlly place
of course not extreme
maybe stuff like this is never meant to be seen maybe im breaking rules but i guess everyones breaking rules all the time then by that standard
is this a ridiculous level of self aware of am i stupid for mistaking this for self awareness, not stupid i dont think imm stupid, stupid is a stupid word, its gotta do for now though, im stupid in somethings and good in others.
then of course somewher in the middle for others.
stupid middle
irony everywhere
of course of course at every corner
world universe is so ironic poetic
its always of course of course.
i tried ot say
dont need disclaimer, people can stop reading if they dont want to you dont need to twll them they can stop reading, becuae i need a disclaimer i can stop reading sometimes. i play tricks aand lose and guilt to make myself read, and i struggle to focus, if im nnoy yhrd

brihn distured disturnrd
undisturbed
pp[s
im worried i need somesort of trigger woarning , i dont want to hurt people, assumke they read wich my automatic resoponse is to say, no silly they pwont, this is boring, i dont know if other were doing thins if i could would read i dont knwo and that would be my answer.#
its like a song really, the ones the smart people write with the smart lyrics, that i only understand i f i understnad, dont know if this is for otheres
i vould go on forever
not saying im smart, i alawys have to do that, i hope youll understand saying people say
i shoild stop
incoherent
this is therapy
so
sotp
dilly
mrsny dilly
meant silly byt said lavenders blue dilly dilly
HA ha
hate ha has feel fake no alternative all the laughs of ways feel fake
im gonna go back and say something at sa start
ha ha
im worried okay
probably tge end